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POTPURI






Once a Diaspora Kid, always in between


Besa Ferati

︎english

Were you a Migros- or Coopkid?
I was a Migroskid.

Even after all this time, I can still remember the smell of fresh croissants we enjoyed on Saturday mornings.
I close my eyes. I hear something. I catch myself smiling. I open my eyes.
I wonder – what’s caught my attention? Was it the peaceful stillness, the birds chirping, the kids running around the park, or maybe the group of people playing table tennis? I jump up and walk towards the swing, moving back and forth, lost in a daydream.
It’s getting late, so we head home.

Dad, my sister and I in Rorschach,  Summer 2003

Mom was preparing a delicious dinner, while Dad was helping my sister and me with our homework. The scent of food filled the house as I packed my backpack, all set for kindergarten the next day. The morning came and I saw my friends and my teachers. It was a sunny day and we had breakfast outside. Our teachers showed us how to carve carrots into crocodile shapes. It was funny, some of the kids started acting like crocodiles and the others like rabbits – I couldn’t stop laughing.

It was time to play, so we could pick any activity we wanted. My favorites were the stump game and playing in the sandbox. We roamed around, filled with enthusiasm and curiosity, and each moment brought something new to notice. Our little minds were full of big dreams about the future.

Eventually, it was story time. You could see the excitement on our faces as we listened attentively, cherishing every moment. We discovered new words and met fascinating characters, eagerly having discussions about them afterwards.
To wrap up the day, we sang, mostly a cappella.

Little me playing with dolls in kindergarden, August 2003, St. Gallen

And so, until tomorrow again.

But this time, tomorrow was unlike any other.

I don’t remember a lot, but we were packing up all of our things. Cleaning the apartment and giving away the furniture. Yes, we were leaving Switzerland and starting a new life in Kosovë. But at that time I didn’t understand what was happening. Were we going on a long trip? Are we coming back? Why does this feel like a farewell?
The very last night in town was a bittersweet moment. I couldn’t sleep. The room was empty and I got distracted by the lights of the cars reflected on my ceiling.

It was quiet. A vivid memory that remained forever.
At last, we said our goodbyes to our beloved ones, to my childhood, to my birthplace.
But we will see you soon. I won’t disappear.

A long road. 24 hours by car.

Tired but nonetheless, we finally arrived in Kosovë. The other beloved ones were keenly waiting for us. I met my cousins for the first time, overwhelmed with joy.
The house was steaming – there were so many of us, each voice blending into the next, creating a sense of movement and energy.
“A ma mirë k’tu a atje?” – literally translated as “Better here or there?” – is the common question asked in every Albanian household to diaspora people. It’s a phrase frequently heard among Kosovars when meeting someone from the community. A tricky question, often used in jest, but with the intention of keeping the atmosphere light and playful.

I experienced Prishtina for the first time. It felt beautifully simple, with its solid concrete apartment blocks standing modestly. Each street and corner held a story. People didn't rush through their days; they walked at their own pace, taking the time to stop and chat with neighbors.

September starts. First day of school.

Everything intrigued me as I wandered around. Making friends came easily, yet there were times I felt out of place. Why was that? Was I pulling away because I felt different – quieter, unfamiliar with this new rhythm? The constant hum of noise, the unwavering energy, and the way people filled every space with life overwhelmed me. What had once felt comfortable now seemed too much. But over time, I began to understand. This was the Balkans. Here, chaos isn’t just the norm, it’s a way of life. It fuels people, gives them character. Not everything has to be in perfect order.

In that simplicity, finding calm within the chaos.

Years have passed, yet I still don’t know where home is. This relentless need to keep searching for it. I find myself caught between places, trying to find where my soul feels completely at ease.

I always knew I had to leave Prishtina. I never quite felt like I belonged there. It held me back, drained my spirit, and didn’t really offer me space where I could truly grow. So I pulled away, becoming a stranger in my own town. It was only a matter of time before I left. I never imagined home could feel so cold, that it could wound me in such a way. Home should be a place of warmth, where people are cherished and cared for. Instead, it became a place that distanced me.

Prishtina and I, July 2021, Palace of Youth

In the emptiness left behind, I’ve never forgotten Switzerland. I always hoped to find what I was searching for there.After many years, I went back for a year, reunited with the family, and reflected on memories. I came to understand that what I had once lived through was meant to be experienced again. In reconnecting with my past, I felt a sense of nostalgia and a deeper understanding of myself. I revisited places that once held so much meaning: my kindergarten, the park where I spent countless hours, and the city.  In doing so, I fell back into my old routine: going to the forest, riding my bike, and having picnics by the lake.
Back in St. Gallen – a reunion with my birthplace, September 2022
St. Gallen, December 2022

In parallel, work felt just as welcoming.  My co-workers appreciated and embraced me as I was.  Their openness made it easy for me to settle in, and I quickly felt like part of the team. With each passing day, I felt more at home, a deep sense of belonging growing within me.
My workplace was located on Langstrasse, a neighborhood that served as a meeting point for immigrants.

During lunch breaks, I would go out to grab something to eat. It was impossible not to feel the excitement this neighborhood gave you. Hearing salsa music coming from the Latin bars made me feel like I was somewhere in Latin America. Walking further, I could smell Asian spices, which suddenly carried me to the other side of the world. But nothing thrilled me as much as the moment I heard some traditional Albanian music playing.
The road led me to an Albanian café. I sat down for a coffee and watched the conversations unfold around me.
“Tungjatjeta!” – an old woman greeted me. It means May your life be prolonged. Isn’t that beautiful? Wishing wealth, not in terms of things, but in health, happiness, and good moments. It’s a simple, heartfelt wish with a lot of meaning. I smiled and greeted her back, letting the warmth of the words sink in.
I left the café, but the feeling didn’t fade. It stayed with me, in the connection I felt with people who shared the same history.

I kept walking and wondered if home really is just about little moments like this – ones that remind you that you are part of something, even if it’s just for a second. It's not just about a place; it’s the feeling of being understood, of finding your rhythm in a world that’s constantly changing. Somewhere where you can be yourself, without the pressure to fit in. It’s the quiet moments that remind you that, no matter where you go, there’s always something familiar waiting for you, something that makes you feel like you belong.

So I'm always in between: Home is both here and there.
Potpuri është një platformë e pavarur botuese dhe iniciativë bashkëpunuese e fokusuar në metodologjitë eksperimentale të kërkimit, gazetarisë investigative dhe prodhimit. Fokusi i procesit të punës së Potpurit është nxitja e metodologjive kolektive në praktikat e botimit për prodhimin e gazetave fizike. Kolektivi Potpuri është i bazuar ndërmjet Kosovës dhe Zvicrës, aktiviteti ynë kërkon tema dhe urgjenca të përbashkëta sociale si ringjallja e shtypit të shkruar në Kosovë, mungesa e hapësirave institucionale reflektuese për diasporën shqiptare në Zvicër, politikat dhe dukuritë sociale nën përvojat migratore, dhe më e rëndësishmja sigurimi i një hapësire mikpritëse për shprehjet e zërave të padëgjuar brenda mjediseve komerciale.
Potpuri is an independent publishing platform and collaborative initiative focused on experimental methodologies of research, investigative journalism and production. The focus of the work-process of Potpuri is the fostering of collective methodologies in publishing practices for the production of physical newspapers. Potpuri collective is based between Kosovo and Switzerland, our activity seeks for common social themes and urgencies such as the revival of printed press in Kosovo, the absence of reflective institutional spaces for the Albanian diaspora in Switzerland, the politics and social phenomena under migratory experiences, and most importantly providing a welcoming space for expressions of voices unheard within commercial settings.
Potpuri ist eine unabhängige Veröffentlichungsplattform und Initiative, die sich auf experimentelle Forschungsmethoden, investigativen Journalismus und Produktion konzentriert. Der Schwerpunkt des Arbeitsprozesses von Potpuri liegt in der Förderung kollektiver Methoden der Verlagspraxis für die Produktion von Zeitungen. Das Potpuri-Kollektiv arbeitet im Kosovo und der Schweiz. Unsere Themen und Dringlichkeiten wie der Wiederbelebung der gedruckten Presse im Kosovo reichen von dem Fehlen reflektierender institutioneller Räume für die albanische Diaspora in der Schweiz und den sozialen Phänomenen der Migrationserfahrungen. Ein Raum für Ausdruck von Stimmen, die in kommerziellen Umgebungen häufig ungehört bleiben.
This edition was produced with the financial support of the European Union, Provitreff Verein and “ici. here together”. The content of this publication is the sole responsibility of NGO Rritu and NAFAKË and does not necessarily reflect the views of the European Union or any other funding body.

           
Potpuri është një platformë e pavarur botuese dhe iniciativë bashkëpunuese e fokusuar në metodologjitë eksperimentale të kërkimit, gazetarisë investigative dhe prodhimit. Fokusi i procesit të punës së Potpurit është nxitja e metodologjive kolektive në praktikat e botimit për prodhimin e gazetave fizike. Kolektivi Potpuri është i bazuar ndërmjet Kosovës dhe Zvicrës, aktiviteti ynë kërkon tema dhe urgjenca të përbashkëta sociale si ringjallja e shtypit të shkruar në Kosovë, mungesa e hapësirave institucionale reflektuese për diasporën shqiptare në Zvicër, politikat dhe dukuritë sociale nën përvojat migratore, dhe më e rëndësishmja sigurimi i një hapësire mikpritëse për shprehjet e zërave të padëgjuar brenda mjediseve komerciale.
Potpuri is an independent publishing platform and collaborative initiative focused on experimental methodologies of research, investigative journalism and production. The focus of the work-process of Potpuri is the fostering of collective methodologies in publishing practices for the production of physical newspapers. Potpuri collective is based between Kosovo and Switzerland, our activity seeks for common social themes and urgencies such as the revival of printed press in Kosovo, the absence of reflective institutional spaces for the Albanian diaspora in Switzerland, the politics and social phenomena under migratory experiences, and most importantly providing a welcoming space for expressions of voices unheard within commercial settings.
Potpuri ist eine unabhängige Veröffentlichungsplattform und Initiative, die sich auf experimentelle Forschungsmethoden, investigativen Journalismus und Produktion konzentriert. Der Schwerpunkt des Arbeitsprozesses von Potpuri liegt in der Förderung kollektiver Methoden der Verlagspraxis für die Produktion von Zeitungen. Das Potpuri-Kollektiv arbeitet im Kosovo und der Schweiz. Unsere Themen und Dringlichkeiten wie der Wiederbelebung der gedruckten Presse im Kosovo reichen von dem Fehlen reflektierender institutioneller Räume für die albanische Diaspora in der Schweiz und den sozialen Phänomenen der Migrationserfahrungen. Ein Raum für Ausdruck von Stimmen, die in kommerziellen Umgebungen häufig ungehört bleiben.
This edition was produced with the financial support of the European Union, Provitreff Verein and “ici. here together”.
The content of this publication is the sole responsibility of NGO Rritu and NAFAKË and does not necessarily reflect the views of the European Union or any other funding body.

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